Quiz time

1. True or False: At no point in any of the Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, does Dr. Watson or anyone else utter the apocryphal phrase, "No shit, Sherlock".
2. Why, when someone has sent me a letter with not enough postage on it, does the postie ask for the missing sum from me? What did I do?
3. What is it with young people and spitting? In my day they had No Spitting signs in buses to discourage TB sufferers, survivors of the Spanish flu epidemic of 1919 and coal miners from faraway exotic places like Bellshill and Cambuslang. Now the habit has taken over the entire younger generation?

That's enough stupid questions.