Saturday, 5 May 2007

Worst. Lyrics. Ever.

Speaking of poptastic music, and speaking of the Uselessnet, someone started a thread nicked the idea from the Guardian for a list of rubbish song lyrics, and the collection is so good I had to steal it. None of this is of my making; someone else did all the work; but it's too good to miss. I'll just list them as I find them.

Update: The original post to a Guardian blog is here, where you'll also find hundreds more great submissions in the comments.

#1 Des'ree - Life
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's the sight that I fear most,
I'd rather have a piece of toast,
Watch the evening news.

# 2 Snap - Rhythm Is A Dancer
I'm as serious as cancer,
When I say Rhythm is a Dancer.

# 3 Razorlight - Somewhere Else
And I met a girl,
she asked me my name,
I told her what it was.

# 4 ABC - That Was Then But This Is Now
More Sacrifices than an Aztec priest,
Standing here straining at that leash,
All fall down,
Can't complain, mustn't grumble,
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble

# 5 U2 - Elevation
I've got no self control,
Been living like a mole now,
Going down, excavation,
High and high in the sky,
You make me feel like I can fly,
So high,

# 6 Toto - Africa
The wild dogs cry out in the night,
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company,
I know that I must do what's right,
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

# 7 Oasis - Champagne Supernova
Slowly walking down the hall,
Faster than a cannonball,
Where were you when we were getting high?

# 8 Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know?
And firey demons all dance when you walk through that door,
Don't say you're easy on me you're about as easy as a nuclear war.

# 9 Human League - The Lebanon
Before he leaves the camp he stops,
He scans the world outside,
And where there used to be some shops,
Is where the snipers sometimes hide.

# 10 Black Sabbath - War Pigs
Generals gathered in their masses,
Just like witches at black masses.

# - Bob Dylan - Sign Language
You speak to me
In sign language
As I'm eating a sandwich
In a small cafe.

On the first part of the journey
I was looking at all the life
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

T Rex 'Hot Love' is another one.

Well she's my woman of gold And she's not very old a ha ha
Well she's faster than most and she lives on the coast a ha ha

Woh Deb-o-ra,
You look like a zeb-o-ra..

Got to write a classic
Got to write it in an attic
Baby, I'm an addict now
An addict for your love

De do do do
De da da da
Is all I want to say to you

Hawkwind - "Motorhead"

"Fourth day, five day marathon
We're moving like a parallelogram"

Cliff Richard 'Power To All Our
Friends' which was a Eurovision entry in 1972.

Theres some old man
Spends his life growing flowers
Caring for the bees
Power to the bees

Theres some old lady
Spends her days making wine
The wine tasted fine
Power to the vine

Power to the boys who played rock n roll
And made my life so sweet
Power to the girls I knew before
And those Ive yet to meet

More as they come in. Feel free to add your own in comments.