Grapes 2.0

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Home again, home again

Image via WikipediaHousehold gets back to normal tomorrow. Not before time. I get fed up being alone. Freedom isn't all it's made out to be.

What on earth do single people do? Organising your life is exhausting. There's absolutely nothing you can take for granted. I remember that from before, but we were younger then. We could ride with the punches better.

Now I'm finishing off some work, I'll pack my lunch for tomorrow, then clean the cooker. Everything's looking ship-shape, as clean and tidy as if acts of great depravity had taken place, because the house would never be clean just from living in it, would it?

That's something else that belongs in the past: acts of great depravity. I need eight hours at least, or else I won't be worth shit in the morning. I'd be lucky to muster the energy for an act of eyebrow-raising unseemliness.

Thanks to all those who looked after me this past week. I dare say we'll do it again sometime soon.

Saturday, 5 July 2008

Animal Friendship Between Different Species

I'll see your cat videos, and raise you a dog and duck.

Fred Stalks Judy

This is Fred. He's six. This video has had 4 million hits, 57 video responses and more than 25,000 comments. Fred is the biggest thing in the world right now, and most of us are not even aware of him.

So wake up.

Invertuality: Jules says goodbye...

This is really really creepy, and horribly sad.

Friday, 4 July 2008

Must have GSOH

Image via WikipediaSo I'm still young at heart. I'm clever. I'm funny. I pay my way. I know this town like the back of my head.

I'm alone this weekend.

And the snot is blinding me. Some new tree species chose today to pollenate, and it's triggered my hay-fever -- which is usually mild-to-dormant. I could paper a room with the paste I'm producing here, blog-dudes!

Hay-fever is Nature's way of saying, "Feelings of spring, huh? Sap rising, huh? Think again, buddy. Forsaking all others, know what I mean?"

And it can strike any time, anywhere.

Thursday, 3 July 2008

Friends

Image by night86mare via FlickrI'd like to have someone famous as my Facebook friend. Someone that made people think, shit is that really his friend? Sort of Hey guys you'll never guess what-type famous.

So far the honour eludes me, and if I'm honest I'd have to admit I'm not exactly raising the tone of anyone else's inbox, if you know what I mean.

Could one or two of you go out and get famous for something? Is that too much to ask? I know Jeff's trying, and he's probably the best hope for all of us. There's Jackson, but he's going to be a TV writer, and how many of those can you name? Some of you other peeps could write a book or something, no?

I really think you could do something simple like that for a pal. What else are friends for?

Reminder: He’s still president

But for those of you who insist on seeing your least favorite moment get its due, here is list of every honorable mention I could come up with: warrantless wiretapping; Valerie Plame; Scooter Libby's sentence commuted; Bush believes Rafael Palmeiro is innocent; soldiers face neglect at Walter Reed; signing statements; the Kyoto treaty ripped up; loyalty oaths; the fake turkey; a staged teleconference with troops, staged FEMA press conference, extraordinary rendition, support for junk science; endorsement of neo-creationist "intelligent design"; inaction against global warming; record oil prices; record budget deficits; record trade deficits; record number of Americans without health insurance; two recessions; no-bid contracts; bin Laden still at large; the Federal Marriage Amendment; stem cell research vetoed; waterboarding ban vetoed; "Last throes"; "Old Europe"; "It's hard work"; "Bring it on"; "Yo, Blair!"; "I'm the decider"; "I'm the commander guy"; "I'm a war president"; "This is the guy who tried to kill my dad"; "So?"; "Let the Eagle Soar"; John Bolton; Kenny Boy; Harriet Miers; John Roberts; Sam Alito; Blair talks Bush out of bombing al-Jazeera; Cheney shoots some guy in the face; the Military Commissions Act; Jose Padilla arrested and held without charge or access to counsel; endless tax cuts for the rich; let's waste a shitload of money by sending people to Mars and let's hire some Heritage Foundation staffers to rebuild Iraq. And with that, let's go onto our 10 worst moments.

The 10 Most Awesomely Bad Moments of the Bush Presidency | Election 2008 | AlterNet

Taxi Driver

Travis Bickle: All the animals come out at night - whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. I go all over. I take people to the Bronx, Brooklyn, I take 'em to Harlem. I don't care. Don't make no difference to me. It does to some. Some won't even take spooks. Don't make no difference to me.

Taxi Driver (1976) - Memorable quotes

If you’re reading this in Brussels, you’ll be waiting for the break in the heavy oppressive humidity that comes from the rain that’s now falling. Another apposite quote:

Ned: You can stand here with me if you want but you'll have to agree not to talk about the heat.
Matty: I'm a married woman.
Ned: Meaning what?
Matty: Meaning I'm not looking for company.
Ned: Then you should have said I'm a happily married woman.

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Fathers and daughters

Image via WikipediaGirl Fourteen called me from Rome on Skype (the peeps they're staying with have had their phone lines disconnected because they're coming home) and I think I was short with her. Not short as in curt, but short as in I was already going, I'd better let you go before she'd given me any sign I was boring her.

I thought I was being helpful. Like, I appreciate you calling me but look, feel free to go back to whatever it was you'd rather do. I think I just misjudged. But I'm worried now in case she feels snubbed. Imagine if she thinks I had something else I had to get back to.

Being a parent is like walking a tightrope that has no end, and no end at the other end, either, just all middle, and a fiery pit under you. And you set off to walk it wearing clown-shoes made of carpet-slipper material. And there's never any going back, or changing shoes, or turning around.

I wish there were some way I could tell my mother: I get it now. I get it. I see. But she'd be like, what do you know, you're only a boy. I'm still only a boy for her. That's the entire parenthood paradox right there.

Genius level

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 87% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Take The Commonly Confused Words Test at HelloQuizzy

[via]

Neil Diamond He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother

This is another Neil Diamond song that's more usually associated with someone else, in this case as far as I'm concerned with the Hollies, though it's been covered all over the shop as many ND songs have.

The Hollies sang it in multi-part harmony, as has become the tradition, but ND sings it here totally alone, and needless to say it's exactly right. All right, he's not the best singer in the world, but the song is a song sung by one man about another, and that's what he had in mind, and that's what he did.

Isn't in amazing how young he is? Judging by the big hair, he's probably a good deal younger than many of us are now. Obviously candidates -- Jeff, nn -- excepted. Of course. I was referring to the grown-ups.

Hard Times - Rufus and Martha Wainwright w/ Kate McGarigal

It must have been hard for Kate McGarrigle to be married to Loudon Wainwright, and it must have been hard for his kids.

It must be hard for Martha Wainwright to escape the shadow of Rufus. So it's nice that he came onstage here in tights and power-jacket, just to help out by down-shining, if you will.